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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New funny quotes: 14189 this month

15,818 funny quotes and pics

17,814 funny quotes topics

Updated: May 28, 2026

 

 

 

 

148 Funny last quotes

Funny last quotes 😂🥳 are the ultimate mic drops of the afterlife, where humor takes its final bow. These witty parting words are like the punchline to life’s grand joke, reminding us to laugh until the very end. Whether it’s a cheeky farewell or a clever twist, these quotes prove that even when the curtain falls, a sense of humor never fades. Dive in for a chuckle-worthy journey through the witty wisdom of those who exited with style! 🎭✨

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

Posted onMay 23, 2026

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Posted onMay 22, 2026

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Posted onMay 22, 2026

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Posted onMay 22, 2026May 22, 2026

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Posted onMay 22, 2026

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

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