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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I’m tired of things costing money.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,626

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Making waves on Facebook:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Trending via X:

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

Live now on Pinterest:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

Just landed via Facebook:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Seen just now on TikTok:

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

Spotted on Twitch:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

Funny lightning quotes

Funny lightning quotes bring a spark of humor to those electrifying moments when thunder and lightning make their dramatic entrance. ⚡🌩️ Whether it’s playful jabs at sudden storms or clever quips about lightning strikes, these quotes illuminate the lighter side of nature’s power. Get ready to be struck by laughter as we explore the humorous side of lightning! 🌟⚡

New funny lightning quotes 👇

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

0

1 month ago

attack, bolt, dinner, dinner table, family, family dinner, funny attack, holiday, holiday meal, lightning, lightning bolt, meal, table, Thanksgiving, uncle
“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

0

2 months ago

asked, ChatGPT, dead, frustration, God, grok, humor, i, irony, joke, lightning, me, prayer, supernatural
I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

0

2 months ago

adrenaline, am, excitement, feeling, freedom, heavy, heavy metal, honor, i, know, lightning, metal, music, nature, racing, smoke, thrill, thunder, under, wind
Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

0

2 months ago

button, fake, guy, humor, joke, lightning, synchronization, thunder, weather
The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

0

2 months ago

everyone, getting, humor, irony, lightning, mishap, seeing, skeleton, visibility, worst, worst part
It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

0

6 months ago

age, childhood, funny observation, lightning, matter, nostalgia, observation, old, sit, storm, thunder, watch, weather, window

All funny lightning quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

12 shares on Slack this month:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,661

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Spotted on Twitch:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

Just shared via Reddit:

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I need a vaccine against overthinking.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Trending via Telegram:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

Just shared via X:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

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