42 Funny listen quotes

Trending Funny Listen Quotes 🔥

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.
In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.
Listen to the birds, not the news.
Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.
Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

More funny listen quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Commentary:
Oh, so you only accept societal insights if they come with a side of car karaoke vibes? 🚗🎤 Well, I guess that’s one way to take in the latest trends in between red lights and pit stops! Who knew the key to unraveling the mysteries of society lay in the backseat cupholder all along? 🤔📱 #CarConfessions
5 months ago
Share →: My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic teenage maneuver! 👀🙉🙅‍♂️ It's like they have a Ph.D. in selective hearing and rebellious behavior! 🤣 Maybe we should start taking notes from them on how to expertly navigate the art of subtle defiance. 📝😜 #TeenageWisdom
5 months ago
Share →: Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

Commentary:
"Fitness influencer: It's important to listen to your body. Body: You're old. And you want lasagna. 🍝🤣 Who needs motivational quotes when lasagna is calling your name, right? Remember, balance is key…between hitting the gym and hitting up the Italian restaurant!"
5 months ago
Share →: I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

Commentary:
Oh, so that's what they mean by "country music" 🤠🎶 Nothing like a good ol' national anthem to get those cowboy boots stompin'! Howdy Partner 😄🎵
5 months ago
Share →: It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Commentary:
"Listening to both sides of the debate is like getting a balanced diet – you need a mix of reality and ridiculousness to thrive in this crazy world! 🤪🌟 #BalanceIsKey"
5 months ago
Share →: Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Commentary:
Haha, maybe one of your ears is just more of an audiophile than the other! 🎧🔋 Or perhaps one AirPod is secretly plotting to dominate your music playlist and silently drains its battery faster to assert its dominance! 🤔😂 Keep an eye on those mischievous pods! 🎵🎶
5 months ago
Share →: Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

Commentary:
Well, isn't that just music to your ears in reverse! 🎸🤘🔁 Looks like Black Sabbath was rocking it both ways, who knew they were bilingual in reverse vocals? 🎶🔄 #MindBlown
5 months ago
Share →: My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Commentary:
"Well, sounds like someone forgot to download the 'listening' software update 😅🤖💬 #MarriageMishaps"
5 months ago
Share →: If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

Commentary:
🦕🤣 Oh, the Jurassic snore strikes again! Forget T-Rex, we've got the husband rumbling like a raptor on a roll! 🦖💤 Don't need a park for that prehistoric sound show, just tune in to the nightly snore-saurus spectacle! 😂 #SleepySaurussSymphony
5 months ago
Share →: I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Commentary:
"Ah, the thrill of a sudden shower or the hum of a fan – truly the rockstars of the white noise world! 🌧️🎶 Who needs concert tickets when you've got raindrops and oscillating fans to serenade your ears? 😄🎤 #WhiteNoiseRocks"