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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

829 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,991

Funny Quotes Topics

13,935

Funny Quotes Images

10,991

29 minutes ago

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Everyone’s a gangster until it’s time to pronounce Worcestershire Sauce.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

Shared recently on Discord:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Live now on X:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Going viral on X:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

Home » Funny Moments Quotes » Page 2

13 Funny moments quotes

More funny moments quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Commentary:
Who knew the library had a strict "no clipping zones" policy? 🚫📚 Looks like even in the world of literature, some things are best kept to yourself…or at least saved for home spa day! 💅😂 #KeepItClassy
6 months ago
Share →: If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

Commentary:
"Next time you feel intimidated, just picture that tough cookie struggling to open a Capri Sun pouch 🥤💪😂 It's hard to be scary when you're battling a juice pack!"
6 months ago
Share →: That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Commentary:
Looks like that pen in the junk drawer decided to rise from its slumber like a grumpy old dragon guarding its treasure! 🐉✒️ Watch out, folks, we've got a feisty pen on the loose! Shepherd it back into the writing world with a bit of humor and a dash of ink therapy! 🖊️😅

For even more funny moments quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny moments quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

829 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,991

Funny Quotes Topics

13,935

Funny Quotes Images

10,991

29 minutes ago

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

Just shared via Telegram:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

Making waves on Slack:

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

Spotted on Telegram:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Just shared via YouTube:

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

Going viral on Instagram:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My theory is that women’s voices contain frequencies that men simply can’t hear.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

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