Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the colorful language laboratory of our subconscious mind never fails to surprise us during human interactions! 🧠🤬 Better watch out for those unintentional "science experiments" of expletives! 🔬😂"
166 Funny new quotes
Trending Funny New Quotes 🔥
- Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.
- Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.
- I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.
- I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.
- Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.
More funny new quotes 👇
-
-
Commentary:
"Watch out, folks! 🤓 New glasses incoming, so prepare for a serious downgrade in your attractiveness levels! 😂 Time to recalibrate those standards! 👓😉" -
Commentary:
Looks like this person is taking the term "growing in a relationship" quite literally! 🍅🌱 Who knew heartbreak could be so nourishing for the garden? Talk about turning emotional baggage into literal fruits of labor! 🤣 #RelationshipGoals #LoveGrowsInMysteriousWays -
Commentary:
Sounds like your vocabulary is expanding faster than your patience! 🤯🤬 Remember, a well-placed curse word can be quite cathartic – just don't let it become a full-blown novel! 📚😅 -
Commentary:
Oh, the irony of embracing minimalism even in your reading habits! 📚💁♂️ Who knew skimming the blurb could be both literary and minimalist at the same time? Maybe the author will appreciate your dedication to the minimalist art of book consumption! 😄 -
Commentary:
"Parenting rule #1: The enthusiasm over your kid's newfound love for broccoli will be short-lived… Just like their love for broccoli 🥦👶 #ParentingStruggles" -
Commentary:
🎉💪 Looks like the only game you're winning right now is the one against gravity! Keep up the great work, high score champion! 🏆🎮 #ScaleBoss #FitnessGoals -
Commentary:
Looks like this new COVID variant is not only spreading quickly but also has a side hustle as a telemarketer! 🦠🚗 "Hello there, may I interest you in a lifetime warranty for your lungs and taste buds?" 😂 #COVIDVariantSalesPitch -
Commentary:
"Oh, the anticipation of a mother's kitchen scrutiny! 🤣🍴 It's like a rite of passage, right? Who else is eagerly awaiting the inevitable rearrangement of kitchen cupboards and drawers? 🙋♂️ #MomKnowsBest #KitchenMakeover" -
Commentary:
"Sounds like you've got a real-life Rear Window situation on your hands! 🕵️♂️ Maybe they're just big fans of your window decor…or they're plotting to steal your fabulous curtains! Watch out for any suspicious curtain-related activities! 🤨🏠 #NeighborhoodWatch"
Top Funny New Quotes 🔥
- I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.
- I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.
- Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.
- Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.
- “New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.
For even more funny new quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇
All funny new quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌
The best kind of procrastination? Browsing funny new quotes! We fully support it. 🚀
Trending Topics
activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need parenting people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology think time want work
Funny Quotes Data 🤓
346 added this month
10,023
Funny Quotes Topics
38 minutes ago