Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Commenting “AI slop” under pictures of my friends’ kids opening presents.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,317

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

Just shared via Reddit:

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

Going viral on Facebook:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Just landed via Reddit:

You don’t see people giving bunny ears in photos anymore.

Spotted on Messenger:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Making waves on Slack:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Just landed via Reddit:

Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

26 Funny nickname quotes

Funny nickname quotes bring a burst of laughter and a splash of personality to everyday names! 😄 Whether you’re roasting your bestie or celebrating that quirky friend, these witty lines add extra charm and humor to those playful monikers. 🎉 Ready to spice up your chats and captions with some clever wordplay? Let’s dive into the world of nicknames that never fail to crack a smile! 😂✨

New funny nickname quotes 👇

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

2 hours ago

babe, communication, contact, contacts, full, full name, government, government office, humor, i, identity, love, name, never, nickname, office, phone, phone contact, relationship, save, saved, texting
I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

4 hours ago

boyfriend, dating, humor, i, identity, knows, love, man, name, new, nickname, nobody, relationship, saying, secrecy
I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

7 hours ago

calling, everything, grok, guy, humor, i, know-it-all, knows, new, new guy, nickname, office, started, work
We can’t use nicknames at work anymore, and I blame Teletubby.

13 hours ago

blame, i, nickname, rule, Teletubby, work
Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

13 hours ago

appearance, boy, cutting, everyone, hair, haircut, hairstyle, humor, nickname, office, special, teasing, thing, treats, work, worst
On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

15 hours ago

again, coworker, credit, hr, humor, joke, Mastercard, nickname, office, office humor, sarcasm, take, work, workplace
Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

24 hours ago

comfort, cry, crying, Dubai, humor, Lil, nickname, reassurance, wordplay
If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

1 day ago

always, food, full, humor, i, name, nickname, pasta, think, wordplay
Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

1 day ago

artist, artists, band, big, calling, fan, humor, last, music, name, nickname
Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

1 month ago

barista, called, coffee, coffee shop, feeling, getting, humor, interaction, love, male, me, mixed, mixed signal, nickname, say, shop, signal, signals, today, upset, yesterday

For even more funny nickname quotes, hit next 👇

All funny nickname quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

88 shares on Threads this month:

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

If you’re having a good day today, don’t play Wordle.

68 shares on Discord this month:

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

66 shares on Threads this month:

Just gave my boyfriend an incorrect direction in the car, and he sighed and muttered to himself, “Never assign to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.”

38 shares on Instagram this month:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

7 folks are currently checking 👀

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,620

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

Going viral on YouTube:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Just shared via X:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

Freshly posted on Discord:

For the record, I use a turntable.

Going viral on Slack:

Unfortunately, I do love being the only person who knows exactly what I mean and the hidden meaning behind everything I do.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

Shared recently on Slack:

Can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m rich and happily in love?

Spotted on Facebook:

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴