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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,782

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

Going viral on Facebook:

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Making waves on YouTube:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Home » Funny Night Quotes » Page 19

265 Funny night quotes

More funny night quotes 👇

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

0

2 months ago

commentary, good, good night, humor, issues, modern, modern issues, night, sleep, societal, societal commentary, woke
The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, biting, humor, last, me, mosquito, night, same, tasting, thought, wine
Go ahead and get some sleep, everyone. I’ll stay up and handle the overthinking.

0

2 months ago

ahead, everyone, handle, health, humor, insomnia, mental, mental health, night, overthinking, procrastination, self-awareness, sleep, stay
Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

0

2 months ago

apology, bed, cute, end, flirtation, ghost, humor, i, just, levitating, night, relationship, sorry, think
I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

0

2 months ago

activity, before, coworkers, fun, fun activity, hand, hand stamper, home, humor, i, night, own, prank, stamper, think, workplace, workplace humor
If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

0

2 months ago

around, call, day, ever, friendship, humor, i, me, need, night, procrastination, return, time
Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

0

2 months ago

40s, age, bed, humor, know, life, means, night, nothing, reality, Saturday, weekend, welcome
‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, humor, just, light, middle, night, song, turning, turning on light
Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

0

2 months ago

angry, diet, food, food humor, humor, i, night, salad, third, third night, vegan
My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, bagpipes, hear, humor, i, music, neighbors, night, noise, shouting

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All funny night quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Instagram this month:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

94 shares on Instagram this month:

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

92 shares on Slack this month:

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

32 shares on X this month:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

15 shares on Threads this month:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

There’s no bigger test of patience than typing your email address in on a TV with the remote.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

Just shared via Messenger:

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

Spotted on Twitch:

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

Going bananas on Twitch:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Making waves on Slack:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

Going viral on Instagram:

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

Going viral on Slack:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Activity Log ✨

265 Funny night quotes

More funny night quotes 👇

All funny night quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨