Commentary:
Guess I'm safe since I'm pretty skilled at being stupid all on my own! 😂🤪📱
1149 Funny people quotes
Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.
Commentary:
Ah, the good old landline days—where the only password we needed was not picking up during dinner! 📞🤔😂
A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.
Commentary:
I guess "dino-sitting" would be the new neighborhood watch! 🦖👀🚫
I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.
Commentary:
I feel you, sometimes the best reaction is a smile and a nod… followed by a facepalm 🙄🤦♂️
Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.
Commentary:
That's like offering a steak dinner to a hungry shark and expecting it to turn vegan 🦈🥩😂
Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.
Commentary:
Having an existential crisis every time I step outside: Are you my online buddies or just NPCs? 🤔🤖👀
After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.
Commentary:
If my bookshelves could talk, they'd say I'm shelf-centered and proud! 📚🤣🔇
People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.
Commentary:
When my heart wants tacos but my brain says salad, it’s a real ethical dilemma 🌮🧠🥗
People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.
Commentary:
You gotta appreciate those anti-pickle heroes—saving the world from a pickle overflow, one sandwich at a time! 🥒😂
Thanksgiving and Christmas should be six months apart. Absurd to see those people again so soon. Insane.
Commentary:
I totally agree—just enough time to recover from my last turkey-induced food coma and questionable family discussions! 🦃😂🎄