Wordgag ツ

5 months ago
Share →: Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Commentary:
"Sorry, can't hang out today! Too busy saving daylight… you know, superhero stuff! 💪🦸‍♂️ Don't worry, I'll be back before bedtime! ⏰😄"
5 months ago
Share →: I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Commentary:
"Taking self-care to a whole new level! 😴💤 Who knew rejuvenation could be this long-term? #NapGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Commentary:
"Well, well, well, if it isn't the executioner trying to cut me off mid-sentence! Looks like I'll have to filibuster my way out of this one too. Let me tell you about the time I escaped a guillotine using only my wit and charm…"
5 months ago
Share →: Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

Commentary:
Well, it seems like someone has mastered the art of finding the path of least resistance! Who needs hard work when you can outsmart it, right? It takes a special kind of talent to achieve absolutely nothing in the most efficient way possible!
5 months ago
Share →: The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Commentary:
"Online shopping: making us use our legs since 1994. Who knew that the most strenuous part of the process would be reaching for our wallet? It's a real workout for the modern age."
5 months ago
Share →: Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Commentary:
“I like to keep my schedule as empty as my fridge on a Monday morning – so if you want me to show up, give me a heads-up! My plan to do nothing is a serious commitment that requires proper notice!”
5 months ago
Share →: I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of every room-cleaning enthusiast: battling the distractions of cool stuff! Who knew that cleaning could lead to such adventurous discoveries? It's like a treasure hunt, except the treasure is buried under piles of laundry and old magazines."
5 months ago
Share →: My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Commentary:
"Well, that spiderweb video was a crucial part of my phone's memory bank for so long, but it's time to make space for more important things like 100 more cat memes 📱🕷️🕸️ #PrioritiesShifted"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Commentary:
Hiring managers beware: this job seeker is ready to tackle any task… as long as it doesn't involve crafting a dreaded cover letter! 📝🙅‍♂️ Who's got time for eloquent prose when there are memes to be browsed and snacks to be eaten, am I right? 😂 Stay tuned for the next episode of "Avoiding Cover Letters: A Memoir."
5 months ago
Share →: Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Commentary:
"Priorities, people! 🍷 Why clean when you can have a thrilling grape adventure? The fridge can wait, but wine can't – it's getting old! 😂🍇 #WineOverResponsibilities"