Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

You don’t have to remember details when you don’t lie.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Aren’t you a little old to be a bully?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,728

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Spotted on TikTok:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

Making waves on Messenger:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Just landed via TikTok:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

Just landed via Slack:

My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.

Shared recently on Reddit:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Breaking via Slack:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

24 Funny shirt quotes

More funny shirt quotes 👇

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

1 month ago

after, decapitated, fashion, great, headless, humor, irony, let, mannequin, new, self-image, shirt
I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

1 month ago

ad, algorithm, clicking, fashion, flannel, flannel shirt, humor, i, identity, Instagram, lumberjack, media, mistake, online, online shopping, shirt, shopping, social, social media
The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

1 month ago

back, cleverness, confidence, everywhere, humor, i, identity, secret, shirt, staff, success, wear, workplace
The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

1 month ago

annoyance, crazy, day, discomfort, driving, except, hair, humor, inside, me, pea, princess, rogue, shirt
I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

1 month ago

animal, aquarium, comedy, end, humor, i, job, never, penguin, shirt, work, workplace
How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

1 month ago

fitness, humor, irony, muscle, muscle shirt, muscles, patience, shirt, wear, workout
Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

1 month ago

accident, clothing, coffee, humor, shirt, spill, violence, white, white shirt
Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

1 month ago

autocorrect, communication, frustration, getting, humor, i, shirt, technology, tired, trying
Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

1 month ago

color, comparison, ever, frustration, humor, life, metaphor, red, red wine, shirt, spill, white, wine
The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

1 month ago

bad, bad news, eating, forgot, good, good news, humor, i, new, news, shirt, spaghetti, wear

For even more funny shirt quotes, hit next 👇

All funny shirt quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

How do people post 25 times a day? The only thing I can do 25 times a day is pee.

94 shares on X this month:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Yeah, sex is cool and all, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Countries are just gangs with paperwork.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My best three minutes of sleep are the ones right before the alarm goes off.

Live now on WeChat:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Going bananas on Reddit:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

Just landed via Reddit:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Trending via WeChat:

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

Freshly posted on Slack:

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

Just landed via Messenger:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Going viral on Discord:

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

Activity Log ✨

24 Funny shirt quotes

More funny shirt quotes 👇

All funny shirt quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨