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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,544

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Showing my barber a picture of a dinosaur.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Going viral on WeChat:

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

Just landed via Discord:

Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

Spotted on Slack:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Shared recently on Twitch:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Trending via Instagram:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Making waves on Instagram:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

Breaking via Threads:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

24 Funny shirt quotes

More funny shirt quotes 👇

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

2 months ago

eat, fitness, food, head, humor, i, pasta, run, running, said, saw, shirt, slogan, someone, today, wordplay
For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

2 months ago

creativity, day, gift, humor, husband, i, present, relationship, shirt, thought, twice, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day
Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

2 months ago

accident, accidentally, blue, blue shirt, forklift, funny situation, job, shirt, situation, stockroom, Sue, unexpected, unexpected job, Walmart
Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

2 months ago

always, casual, fashion, favorite, humor, outfit, outfits, relationship, shirt, underwear
You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

2 months ago

attention, date, dining, eat, fashion, food, humor, mess, shirt, spaghetti, wants, wear, white
Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

2 months ago

after, decapitated, fashion, great, headless, humor, irony, let, mannequin, new, self-image, shirt
I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

2 months ago

ad, algorithm, clicking, fashion, flannel, flannel shirt, humor, i, identity, Instagram, lumberjack, media, mistake, online, online shopping, shirt, shopping, social, social media
The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

2 months ago

back, cleverness, confidence, everywhere, humor, i, identity, secret, shirt, staff, success, wear, workplace
The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

2 months ago

annoyance, crazy, day, discomfort, driving, except, hair, humor, inside, me, pea, princess, rogue, shirt
I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

3 months ago

animal, aquarium, comedy, end, humor, i, job, never, penguin, shirt, work, workplace

For even more funny shirt quotes, hit next 👇

All funny shirt quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Telegram this month:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

11 shares on Threads this month:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

47 shares on Discord this month:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

13 shares on X this month:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

What pushes you to watch 19 seasons of people in a hospital?

72 shares on WeChat this month:

We’ve got a shituation here.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

79 shares on X this month:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I actually think my version of the lyrics makes more sense.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Just shared via Instagram:

When you’re using Grok, the A in Al just stands for Adolf.

Freshly posted on X:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Just shared via Threads:

Maybe the problem is that I’m cooler than any man I’ve ever met.

Trending via Telegram:

People with air fryers really love to tell you what they air fry.

Just shared via Telegram:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

Going viral on Reddit:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Going bananas on Discord:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

Activity Log ✨

24 Funny shirt quotes

More funny shirt quotes 👇

All funny shirt quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨