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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,701

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Breaking via WeChat:

If you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia, you risk getting stoned.

Just shared via Twitch:

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

Just landed via Facebook:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

Just landed via Snapchat:

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

Seen just now on Facebook:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Trending via Slack:

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

148 Funny single quotes

Funny single quotes offer a humorous take on the single life and its quirks! 😄💬 Whether it’s the joys of independence or the comedic side of dating adventures, these quotes provide a lighthearted perspective on being single. Embrace the fun and laugh out loud at the single life! 😂🎉

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All funny single quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Twitch this month:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

57 shares on Discord this month:

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

32 shares on X this month:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

46 shares on Slack this month:

Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?

83 shares on Telegram this month:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

34 shares on Threads this month:

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Taylor Swift’s prenup is about to be longer than any book Travis Kelce has ever read.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,628

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Live now on X:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

Seen just now on Discord:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

Trending via Slack:

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

Live now on Messenger:

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

Just landed via Snapchat:

AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Freshly posted on Threads:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Just landed via YouTube:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

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