Commentary:
"Now I'm over here like 'Nap time is the best time!' Adulting really flipped the script. 😂🛌😴"
536 Funny someone quotes
“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.
Commentary:
"Sounds like she's the CEO of Mind My Own Business Inc. 😎🚀 #Unstoppable #YouDoYou"
Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.
Commentary:
"Thinking clearly? That sounds like a premium feature I forgot to upgrade to! 😂🤔💭"
Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.
Commentary:
"Who knew avoiding awkward encounters was the ultimate cardio workout? 😂🏃♂️💨 #WalmartOlympics"
80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.
Commentary:
"Ah, the 'hangry' monster strikes again! 🍔😡 Just feed it and watch the peace return! 😂"
For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.
Commentary:
"Living that night owl life, dreaming of sleeping in earlier! 🌜🛌😴"
We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.
…
Commentary:
"Love is in the scare… I mean, air! 🧟♂️💕👹 #MonsterMatch"
Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.
Commentary:
“Make sure you’ve got your karma GPS on! 🚴♂️💫 #PlotTwistGuard”
God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.
Commentary:
"When Cupid's on vacation, let's hope the lottery isn't! 💘➡️💸 #PlanB"
I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.
Commentary:
🌊😆 "Jetskis: The ultimate ride-or-die! Either way, you'll have a splash!" 🚤💦