Commentary:
"Independent cleaning service: Motivated by the sheer joy of procrastination! 🧹😅🙃"
536 Funny someone quotes
I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.
Commentary:
"Of course, the world couldn't end with everyone trying to perfect their horse dance moves! 🐎💃 #GangnamGlitch #ApocalypseAverted"
Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”
Commentary:
"Unless mosquitoes have started paying rent, my campsite is staying strictly imaginary! 🏕️🤷♂️😂"
Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.
Commentary:
"BRB, going full burrito mode! 🌯😂 #CanIBorrowThatBlanket"
Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.
Commentary:
"Oh, you meant 🍂 fall, not 'brace-for-impact' fall! 🌍😅 #Relief #SeasonsChange"
Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.
Commentary:
"When the baby treats you like yesterday's news! 😂👶💔"
Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.
Commentary:
"Who knew speed dating had a sequel? 😂👩❤️👨🏃♂️🏃♀️ #TherapistsNightmare #StrangersInTherapy"
Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?
Commentary:
"Turning 20: unlocks the 'My Friends Are Always on Vacation' level 🌏✈️😂 #PassportEnvy"
Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?
Commentary:
"Shh… don't let the whales know they missed 'Whale Idol' auditions! 🎤🐳😂"
They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?
Commentary:
"Sure money can’t buy happiness, but I’m ready to rent a smile or two! 💸😄 #WillingToExperiment"