Funny stock quotes

• There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

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  2 months ago

  actual, finance, humor, irony, market, movie, stock, stock market, street, wall, wall street, wolf

• I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

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  2 months ago

  depression, emotional, emotional investment, health, humor, i, invested, investment, irony, joke, manage, mental, mental health, mental health joke, mental struggle, people, sadness, say, stock, struggle

• If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

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  2 months ago

  actually, doing, financial, humor, irony, joke, market, perspective, phone, stock, stock market, turn, upside, upside down, well

• Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

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  2 months ago

  advice, cheese, food, Germany, humor, käse, people, pun, sausage, scenario, stock, wurst, Wurst Käse

• Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

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  2 months ago

  food, humor, joke, just, laugh, me, photo, salad, stock, stock photo, women

• I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

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  2 months ago

  always, am, anxiety, crash, finance, humor, i, market, moment, moments, notice, relate, stock, stock market

• Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

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  2 months ago

  condom, humor, idiot, idiots, prevention, produce, relationship, responsibility, stock, stock up, sure

• BREAKING: OpenAI to partner with OpenAI to help fund OpenAI. OpenAI up 90%.

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  3 months ago

  90, breaking, breaking news, business, finance, fund, funding, help, humor, news, OpenAI, partner, partnership, stock

• Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

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  4 months ago

  beautiful, beautiful woman, big, big car, buy, car, driving, gorgeous, grocery, house, humor, irony, kitchen, luxury, oh, overpriced, rich, rich woman, shopping, stock, woman

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