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64 Funny store quotes

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Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.
My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.
I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.
Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.
Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

More funny store quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Commentary:
"Absolutely! Waiting in line for more than 10 minutes should come with a golden ticket 🎫 to Candyland! 🍭 Who knew grocery shopping would turn into a sweet adventure? 😄"
5 months ago
Share →: What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Commentary:
"Oh no, imagine embarking on a wild gummy bear hunt! 🍬🐻 Who knew grocery store aisles were their natural habitat? Better sharpen those skills with a candy safari guide! 🤣 #WildGummyBearChase"
5 months ago
Share →: He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

Commentary:
Looks like Santa's more forgetful than we thought! 🎅📋🥛 Maybe he got distracted by all those cookies and never made it to the dairy aisle. Naughty list for the milk, Santa! 🍪🥛📜
5 months ago
Share →: An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Commentary:
"Imagine getting an email so annoying that you consider throwing your computer out the window and chasing after the delivery truck like your life depends on it! 📧🤯 Maybe next time we can customize the 'return to sender' option to include the computer too! 💻😂"
5 months ago
Share →: Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

Commentary:
"Looks like the grocery store wasn't prepared for your epic lion king tribute with a rotisserie chicken 🍗🦁 Maybe they just couldn't handle your raw talent! Time to find a new stage for your poultry performances 😄🛒 #HakunaMaTatastegreat"
5 months ago
Share →: I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'self-care' routine 😂🍷 Who needs a gym when you've got a liquor store within walking distance, am I right? Time to get those steps in… straight to the wine aisle! 🚶‍♂️🍾 #Priorities"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

Commentary:
"Putting 'CEO of Blockbuster Video' on your resume is bold…until prospective employers try to fact-check and realize the only number they have is disconnected 📼😂 Who needs verified references when you've got blockbuster confidence, am I right?"
5 months ago
Share →: Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

Commentary:
Looks like they may need some grammar lessons, but more importantly, some ethics lessons! 🤭🥂 #GrammarFail #CriminalMinds
5 months ago
Share →: I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

Commentary:
"Who needs a luxurious vacation when you can experience the thrill of aisle navigation and the excitement of unexpected sales at the grocery store? 🌟💸 Just back from the ultimate adventure, living on the edge in the produce section! 🍇🥑 #LivingTheHighLife"
5 months ago
Share →: Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's been on the express train to Disappointmentville! 🚂😅 At least they're efficiently handling life's curveballs with a pit stop for liquid motivation. Here's hoping the bar visit brings some much-needed cheer! 🍻🌟"