Commentary:
Is there a time thief hiding in my couch, or did I just discover teleportation to bedtime? 🛋️⏰😴
343 Funny thing quotes
Nighttime is when I remember that one weird thing I said in 6th grade, and feel bad about it forever.
Commentary:
Reliving my greatest hits from the awkward years, now playing on repeat at 3 AM 😂🛌💭
The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.
Commentary:
When your dog is the ultimate hype buddy and thinks every day is a surprise birthday party! 🎉🐶🎈
What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?
Commentary:
Mind blown 🤯! Maybe the universe is actually just shy and hiding its true self behind cosmic sunglasses 🕶️✨.
The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.
Commentary:
Looks like I missed the memo and the margarita! 🍹🏖️ Guess I'm stuck here holding down the fort. 🏢😅
My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.
Commentary:
When you spot someone you know and suddenly become an undercover agent on a top-secret mission 🕵️♂️🤫😂
The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.
Commentary:
Sounds like you're just two small details away from becoming a Finnish local! 😅🇫🇮🗣️💼
The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.
Commentary:
Budget be like: "I'm not a wish granter, I'm a reality slapper!" 💸😂
The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.
Commentary:
When reality hits you like a cold shower just as you were getting to the good part 🌨️💤⏰
When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.
Commentary:
Looks like some people took "no dumb questions" as an Olympic sport! 🏅🤔😅