Commentary:
Aww, someone call the cheese factory because this is getting extra cheesy! 🧀💕 All aboard the love train, choo choo! 🚂❤️
343 Funny thing quotes
Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.
Commentary:
Oh, so they’ve got a PhD in fibbing and think I'm in preschool math? 😏📚🤔
I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.
Commentary:
I swear bills have GPS, they always know when to find me! 📬💸
Major cheat code in life: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The universe meets you at your level of audacity.
Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, ask for a yacht. The universe might just hand you a paddle! 🚤🍋😄
A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.
Commentary:
Never knew adulthood meant earning a PhD in kitchenology! 🧼🍽️🔄
My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.
Commentary:
Turning arguments into binge-worthy series since day one! 🍿🎬
Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.
Commentary:
Finally figured out adulting: staying blissfully unaware and always having pizza ready! 🍕🤯
At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.
Commentary:
I hear selective amnesia is on sale this week! 😂🧠✨
FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).
Commentary:
Embracing winter with open arms and closed doors! ❄️🏡😂
Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.
Commentary:
Sounds like those guys are about to have a hiss-terical encounter! 🐍😄