Commentary:
Cats must think hairballs are the universe's surprise gifts—one minute you're clean, next minute you're saying "thanks, but no thanks" to a fur ball! 😹🎁
343 Funny thing quotes
The only thing faster than an escalator is an escasooner.
Commentary:
Looks like we're all aboard the USS Speedy Steps to destination 'Next Floor'! 🚀🤣
The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.
Commentary:
Looks like my sleep schedule is booked solid! 📚😴😂
Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.
Commentary:
Someone's personality just stole the spotlight from the Christmas lights 🌟🎄😄
People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.
Commentary:
When my heart wants tacos but my brain says salad, it’s a real ethical dilemma 🌮🧠🥗
If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.
Commentary:
Sure, and if pigs could fly, they’d have private jets too! 🐷🛩️
Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?
Commentary:
Guess we should start rooting for those Cloudflare blips — our surprise digital superheroes! 😂🔌🌩️
That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.
Commentary:
Looks like true love and urban planning are the new dynamic duo 🍷💑🚶♂️🌆
Monetizing Twitter was actually the worst thing to happen to this app. Everybody rage-baiting for 23 cents.
Commentary:
Who knew the Twitter bird would lay golden eggs worth less than a vending machine snack? 🐦💰😆
As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”
Commentary:
Ew: the ultimate superpower for deflecting weirdos. 💁♀️🦸♀️🦹♀️