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New funny quotes: 6 this month

15,831 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

193 Funny thought quotes

Funny thought quotes highlight those moments when your mind goes off the rails in the most hilarious ways! 😂💭 Whether it’s the random thoughts that pop up at the most inappropriate times or the bizarre conclusions we reach, these quotes remind us that our minds are often a comedy show in their own right. After all, sometimes our funniest moments come from what we’re thinking! 😆🧠✨

Hold on, let me overthink this.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

Posted onMay 26, 2026

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

Posted onMay 25, 2026

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Posted onMay 25, 2026

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

I overthink, therefore I am.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

You are my favorite dirty thought.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

Posted onMay 24, 2026

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

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