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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New funny quotes: 6 this month

15,831 funny quotes and pics

17,824 funny quotes topics

Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

1023 Funny time quotes

Funny time quotes are perfect for those moments when time feels like it’s either moving way too fast or dragging on forever! ⏳😂 Whether it’s waiting for the weekend, losing track of hours, or wishing for “just five more minutes,” these quotes show how time can be both hilarious and frustrating. Tick-tock, let the laughs begin! 🕒😜

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Man, these end times are taking forever.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Posted onMay 24, 2026

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Everyone’s a gangster until it’s time to pronounce Worcestershire Sauce.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Posted onMay 24, 2026

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Posted onMay 24, 2026May 24, 2026

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

Posted onMay 24, 2026

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

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