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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New funny quotes: 6 this month

15,831 funny quotes and pics

17,824 funny quotes topics

Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

1023 Funny time quotes

Funny time quotes are perfect for those moments when time feels like it’s either moving way too fast or dragging on forever! ⏳😂 Whether it’s waiting for the weekend, losing track of hours, or wishing for “just five more minutes,” these quotes show how time can be both hilarious and frustrating. Tick-tock, let the laughs begin! 🕒😜

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Posted onMay 25, 2026

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

January is the Monday of the year.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Posted onMay 25, 2026

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Posted onMay 25, 2026

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

Posted onMay 25, 2026

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Posted onMay 25, 2026

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Posted onMay 24, 2026

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

Posted onMay 24, 2026

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