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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Forgot how fun it is to post IG stories. I feel like a female filmmaker.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2418 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,580

Funny Quotes Topics

15,251

Funny Quotes Images

12,580

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

Making waves on Slack:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Making waves on TikTok:

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

Just shared via Threads:

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

Spotted on Facebook:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

Seen just now on Reddit:

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

Just landed via Reddit:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2418 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,580

Funny Quotes Topics

15,251

Funny Quotes Images

12,580

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Mike is short for Micycle.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Shared recently on Telegram:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Just landed via Messenger:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Trending via Snapchat:

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

Going viral on Twitch:

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

Spotted on Slack:

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

Trending via WeChat:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

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