Funny quotes tried

22 Funny tried quotes

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

4 weeks ago

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

1 month ago

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

2 months ago

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

3 months ago

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

3 months ago

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

3 months ago

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

3 months ago

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

3 months ago

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

3 months ago

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

3 months ago

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

3 months ago

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

3 months ago

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

3 months ago

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

3 months ago

Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.

3 months ago

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

3 months ago

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

3 months ago

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

3 months ago

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

3 months ago

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

3 months ago

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

3 months ago

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

3 months ago