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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,639

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

Seen just now on Discord:

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

Broadcasted on X:

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

Shared recently on Instagram:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Spotted on Discord:

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

Trending via YouTube:

But that was my emotional support daylight.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

Spotted on Pinterest:

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

Just landed via Threads:

I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

42 Funny tried quotes

Funny tried quotes are the ultimate pick-me-ups for when life gives you lemons 🍋 and you accidentally drop them 🍋🤦‍♂️. These quirky gems capture those moments where our best-laid plans hilariously go awry, reminding us that laughter is the best remedy 😂. Whether you attempted a culinary masterpiece and ended up with a kitchen disaster 🍳🔥 or tried a DIY project that didn’t quite hit the mark 🛠️🤣, these quotes celebrate the humor in our well-intentioned failures.

New funny tried quotes 👇

I tried selling my soul to the devil, and he said no.

6 days ago

dark, dark humor, devil, humor, i, joke, rejection, said, selling, selling soul, soul, tried
You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

6 days ago

baddie, forbid, man, media, posting, real, social, social media, tried
Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

6 days ago

awkwardness, cool, crush, ever, humor, just, love, obsession, over, person, relationship, sex, tried, unrequited, unrequited love
Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

6 days ago

bible, Bible lesson, Bible name, giving, humor, kid, kids, last, lesson, lessons, me, Moses, name, names, night, robbery, stop, tried
Have you tried making guacamole about it?

7 days ago

cooking, food, guacamole, humor, making, pun, tried, wordplay
I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

7 days ago

dignity, exercise, fail, hamstring, humor, i, injury, once, tried, yoga
I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

7 days ago

embrace, flaw, flaws, humor, i, joke, order, restraining, restraining order, sarcasm, self-acceptance, tried
You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

1 week ago

being, communication, engagement, humor, insult, media, much, social, social media, tried
Have you tried complaining about it?

1 week ago

advice, complaining, complaint, humor, sarcasm, suggestion, tried
If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

1 week ago

activity, adventure, archery, blindfold, blindfold archery, challenge, fun, fun activity, give, humor, know, missing, new, outdoor, outdoor activity, risk, should, things, tried, trying, trying new things, uniqueness

For even more funny tried quotes, hit next 👇

All funny tried quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

25 shares on Threads this month:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

94 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

52 shares on Slack this month:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

78 shares on Slack this month:

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,635

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Live, laugh, leftovers.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Freshly posted on Threads:

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

Trending via Discord:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

Just shared via TikTok:

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

Going viral on Threads:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Live now on Pinterest:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Just shared via X:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

Spotted on Telegram:

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

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