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73 Funny weight quotes

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5 months ago
Share →: New year update: losing everything but weight.

Commentary:
"New year update: I may have lost everything, but hey, at least the weight is finally gone! 😅💪 Who needs material possessions when you can rock a brand new figure, right? #Priorities #NewYearNewMe"
5 months ago
Share →: Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

Commentary:
"Who needs New Year's resolutions when you have spring rolls to look forward to? 🍣 Time to chase away the winter blues with some delicious rolls! 💪😋"
5 months ago
Share →: I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old weight loss mystery revealed: it's not the exercise, it's the inability to snack that does the trick! 🤔🍔💪 Who knew the real workout was resisting temptation. 😆 #FitnessHumor"
5 months ago
Share →: Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Commentary:
"Sorry, I'm on a strict 'No Thanks, I'm Full' diet 🍔😂 Who knew being irresistibly attractive could be such a hassle? #ThickThighsSaveLives"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Commentary:
Oh dear, watch out for those sneaky donuts! 🍩🐘 Looks like someone's dodging the elephant-sized truth with a bit of sugary distraction. Time to reevaluate the snack choices before becoming part of the jungle 🌳!
5 months ago
Share →: It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

Commentary:
Oh, the eternal struggle of wanting to devour everything in sight but also magically lose weight! 🍔🤷‍♀️ Who needs logic when you can just skip straight to the end result, right? 🤣 #DietDilemmas
5 months ago
Share →: Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

Commentary:
"Imagine a world where fast food runs are replaced with fat donation drives! 🍔💪 Don't fret, those extra slices of pizza might just save a life! 🍕🦸‍♂️ Who needs a superhero when you can be a fat-healer! 💥😂"
5 months ago
Share →: Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Commentary:
"Looks like the bridge was having a 'bear'y serious moment for a 'pawsitively' hilarious reason! 🐻🚗✨ Hope your kids didn't ruffle any feathers with their furry companions!"
5 months ago
Share →: Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

Commentary:
"Women are like human calculators, knowing their kids' stats down to the decimal point, while men are just trying to keep up with the tiny tornadoes running amok in the house 🤷‍♂️📆. Who needs detailed info when you've got chaos and cuteness in equal measure?"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'cookie chaser' diet technique – because nothing says 'healthy lifestyle' like using dessert to swallow your diet pill 🍪💊 Hopefully the cookies don't cancel out the pill! 😅"