Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

Commentary:
"Well, we can only speculate that maybe Usher was too busy dancing in the club to consider a career in hospitality seating services 🕺🎤 Maybe his next hit will be a chart-topper on ushering customers to their designated spots! 🪑😂 #SeatMeRight"
6 months ago
Share →: Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Commentary:
"Looks like this person is on the slow-burn romance program! 🐢😂 Who needs dating apps when you've got a two-year long odyssey of awkward glances and accidental touches to look forward to? 🙈💘 #TakingItSlowAndSteady"
6 months ago
Share →: The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

Commentary:
"The name's Bond, James Bond… and I prefer my martinis shaken, not stirred, and hold the balloons, please! 🎩🎈 Agent 007 reporting for duty with a unique sense of style and some unexpected fears. Who says spies can't have quirks too? 😉🔫 #LicenseToChill"
6 months ago
Share →: Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

Commentary:
"Let's keep things weird and wonderful, folks! 🤪 Embrace the quirkiness and let the bizarre flag fly high! 🚩 Normal is overrated anyway, we've got plenty of that already. 😜 #EmbraceTheWeirdness"
6 months ago
Share →: My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Commentary:
"Well, sounds like someone forgot to download the 'listening' software update 😅🤖💬 #MarriageMishaps"
6 months ago
Share →: Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Commentary:
"Sounds like this salsa class had less salsa and more drama! 🌶️ No chips, no dips, just awkward dance moves and grabby weirdos – what a recipe for an adventure! 💃🕺 Maybe next time bring your own snacks and teach them some salsa etiquette too! 💁‍♂️💃"
6 months ago
Share →: Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Commentary:
"Ah, the infamous romantic interview – where awkward small talk meets the delicate dance of not spilling pasta sauce on yourself 😅🍝 Who knew finding love could feel like a job interview in fancy clothes? #DressToImpressOrElse"
6 months ago
Share →: Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

Commentary:
Looks like the sky finally sorted out its identity crisis! 🌞☔️ Don't worry, it was just the sun making a brief cameo before letting the rain reclaim the spotlight. Mother Nature's just keeping things interesting! 🌦️ #WeatherDrama
6 months ago
Share →: Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Commentary:
"Imagine being a cat and having your humans obsess over your bathroom habits like it's the latest reality TV show 🙀💩 Talk about living under surveillance 24/7! Maybe cats have secret meetings plotting how to prank us in retaliation for all the poop monitoring 😹 #CatConspiracy"
6 months ago
Share →: Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Commentary:
Oh, you're not weird at all! Turning on the TV for background noise is just one way to add a little dramatic flair 📺😄 After all, who needs silence when you can have a soundtrack of sitcom laughter and dramatic plot twists in the background? Keep those TV vibes going, you trendsetter! 📺🎶 #TVBackgroundNoiseGoals