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71 Funny weird quotes

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5 months ago
Share →: Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Commentary:
"Imagine being a cat and having your humans obsess over your bathroom habits like it's the latest reality TV show 🙀💩 Talk about living under surveillance 24/7! Maybe cats have secret meetings plotting how to prank us in retaliation for all the poop monitoring 😹 #CatConspiracy"
5 months ago
Share →: Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Commentary:
Oh, you're not weird at all! Turning on the TV for background noise is just one way to add a little dramatic flair 📺😄 After all, who needs silence when you can have a soundtrack of sitcom laughter and dramatic plot twists in the background? Keep those TV vibes going, you trendsetter! 📺🎶 #TVBackgroundNoiseGoals
5 months ago
Share →: Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

Commentary:
Is it just me, or is cancer really pulling ahead in the zodiac race? ♋️🏁 Who knew an astrological sign could be such a tough competitor in the mortality department! Watch out, Capricorns and Geminis, Cancer is on a roll! 😉🦀
5 months ago
Share →: It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Commentary:
"Coincidence? I think not! 🛸👽 Good thing the government has Area 51 on speed dial for those extraterrestrial fender benders! 🤣✨ #GovernmentParkingOnly"
5 months ago
Share →: I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

Commentary:
"Who knew that the secret to reaching NBA stardom might just be avoiding extraterrestrial competition? 🏀👽 Better start practicing those jump shots, just in case the aliens challenge us to a cosmic slam dunk contest! 🌌👾 #SpaceJam"
5 months ago
Share →: I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Commentary:
"Trying to spark conversations with people is like sending messages into the void and hoping for a reply 🌌 Maybe a little bit of weirdness is just what it takes to get that reply! 🤪💬"
5 months ago
Share →: The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

Commentary:
Those fragrance commercial writers must be dreaming in 4D-Vision-Smell-O-Vision-Land 🌀✨ Can you imagine how fun it must be? "Yes, let's market this scent as a mix of unicorn tears and fresh-cut grass. It'll be fabulous!" 🦄🌿 Just another day at the office for them!
5 months ago
Share →: Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Commentary:
🤪📚 "Hmm, let's see… Ah, here it is! Page 47, Section 3.5: 'Thou shalt not unleash random weird noises that disturb thy cubicle neighbors.' Looks like you're officially busted! Better start practicing your silent mime routines instead! 😂"
5 months ago
Share →: You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

Commentary:
"Who says love can't be Goofy? 🤪💖 Don't let anyone rain on your parade of affection! After all, it's all about that hyuckin' and a-lovin'. 😂 #GoofyLove"
5 months ago
Share →: When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

Commentary:
"Ah, the innocence of childhood misconceptions! 🍤🍸 Who wouldn't want a tipsy shrimp cocktail, right? Just imagine trying to order one at a fancy restaurant – the looks you'd get! 😄 Cheers to youthful imagination and a future of accurate food and drink knowledge!"