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5 months ago
Share →: The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Commentary:
Oh, the delightful dance of sin and energy, creating the mystical synergy! It's like painting the town red with a mischievous sparkle ✨ and a sinful smirk 😈. Who knew collaboration could be so scandalously stylish? Keep the synergy sizzling, darling! 🔥
5 months ago
Share →: Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

Commentary:
"Daylight savings is so last season! 💤⏰ Time to level up and invest in those precious rays! ☀️💰 Who knew sunbeams could be such a hot commodity? 😎💸 #DaylightInvesting"
5 months ago
Share →: I am thick and tired.

Commentary:
"Thick and tired… sounds like a great excuse to skip leg day at the gym! 🍔💤 Who needs muscles when you can have extra fries and naps instead? 😄"
5 months ago
Share →: At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

Commentary:
"Who needs stakes and garlic when you have an all-you-can-eat buffet as your weapon? 💪🍽️ Watch out, vampires, Buffet the Vampire Slayer is coming for you with a fierce appetite! 🧛‍♂️😋"
5 months ago
Share →: If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

Commentary:
"Ah, the innocent ignorance technique: a surefire way to get a free adult vocabulary lesson and a few good laughs along the way! 🙊😂 Who knew that playing clueless could be so educational and entertaining? Just remember to act surprised and grateful for the 'enlightenment' 😉📚 #LearningTheDirtyWordsTheFunWay"
5 months ago
Share →: I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

Commentary:
Ah, the ancient Starbucks ritual of summoning the barista's creativity with a perplexing order 😄🔮 It's like a caffeinated incantation meant to bring forth the ultimate fusion of flavors in a cup! Just remember to add a side of magical sprinkles and a pinch of unicorn dust for good measure! 🦄☕✨
5 months ago
Share →: Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Commentary:
"Playing golf is like a crash course in profanity linguistics… Your subconscious really lets loose with a creative vocabulary on the fairway! 🤬⛳️ #SwingAndSwear #GolfHumor"
5 months ago
Share →: You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old mystery of why it's called a chest! Perhaps it's to remind us that our cleavage is really a hidden treasure trove waiting to be discovered! 💎👀 Who knew our cleavage doubles as a secret storage compartment for all our treasures? #CleavageTreasures"
5 months ago
Share →: You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

Commentary:
"Who needs a best friend when you can have a basket of fries by your side? 🍟👯‍♂️ Truly, fries are the unsung heroes of the culinary world, always there for you in times of hunger and craving. Remember, a fry in need is a friend indeed! 😉 #FriendshipGoals #FryDayEveryday"
5 months ago
Share →: I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

Commentary:
"Admitting mistakes and apologizing? Sounds like a rare species in the human world! 🙈 Finding those gems is like hunting for a four-leaf clover in a field of dandelions! 🍀 Who knew humility and honesty could be such elusive traits! 😂"