Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,707

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

Making waves on YouTube:

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Spotted on X:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Going bananas on Discord:

If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

Spotted on Messenger:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

Making waves on Twitch:

“I’m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.”

Going viral on YouTube:

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

Trending via Slack:

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Always late but worth the wait! 😅⏰🎉

always, good, good thing, humor, joke, late, procrastination, punctuality, take, thing, things, time, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Not being able to teleport is a huge inconvenience for me.

0

6 days ago

able, being, fantasy, huge, humor, inconvenience, me, technology, teleport, travel, wish
Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

0

2 months ago

absurdity, ban, excuse, humor, irony, me, petition, political, request, sign
“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

0

2 months ago

autism, exist, guy, guys, hardware, hardware store, humor, met, misunderstanding, old, old guy, perception, store, stores, work
I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

0

6 months ago

anxiety, communication, hesitation, humor, i, need, person, self-respect, shame, social, social anxiety, text, texting, want
Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

0

2 months ago

conversation, font, humor, kind, me, menu, question, questions, restaurant, waitress
The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

0

5 months ago

magic, night, nights, sleep, tranquil, voodoo

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Messenger this month:

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

55 shares on X this month:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

24 shares on Slack this month:

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

45 shares on Discord this month:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

People who get 0-5 likes at max and still tweet all the time… What’s your secret?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Making waves on Threads:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Just shared via TikTok:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Going viral on Threads:

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

Trending via Discord:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Not being able to teleport is a huge inconvenience for me.

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨