Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

Going viral on Threads:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Trending via WeChat:

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

Making waves on Threads:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Just shared via TikTok:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

Happiness is an inside job.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like my internal employees need a raise! 😂💼✨

happiness, inside, inside job, job, mindset, positivity, self

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

0

2 months ago

25, adulthood, age, alarm, humor, life, need, problems, reality, stress, turn, wake
I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

0

2 months ago

frustration, hate, here, i, open, opening, package, person, sealed, tear, tear here, try, using
Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

0

2 months ago

another, appreciate, appreciation, beauty, broken, community, fighter, fighters, lover, lovers, twisted, Twitter, used, where
Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

0

1 month ago

act, example, humor, keeping, kindness, mouth, random, random act, self-control, shut, silence, sometimes
Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who don’t have cars?

0

2 months ago

always, car, cars, charity, dog, dogs, everyone, fundraising, home, homes, humor, joke, money, pet, raising, talking
It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

0

2 months ago

academic, academic integrity, academic resources, access, easier, even, Funny, humor, illegal, illegal access, integrity, irony, library, life, research, resources, student, student life, university, university library

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Telegram this month:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Not again. I mean good morning.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

Rewatching Avengers: Age of Ultron. Despite the title, they never tell you how old Ultron is.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

85 shares on Threads this month:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

My friends put their kid to bed and then made us ice cream sundaes, which is exactly what I assumed was happening when my parents put me to bed.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

Shared recently on Telegram:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Shared recently on Discord:

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

Just shared via Snapchat:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Just landed via Telegram:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Seen just now on Slack:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Seen just now on Telegram:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Happiness is an inside job.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who don’t have cars?

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨