Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Don’t really want to have 6-8 pints and a takeaway tonight, but it’s Friday and rules are rules.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,289

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Making waves on Threads:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Shared recently on Slack:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Just landed via Twitch:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Just shared via Messenger:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Live now on YouTube:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Shared recently on YouTube:

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When Bigfoot sends you a birthday card but you're still waiting for the selfie 🤳🦶😂

belief, believe, Bigfoot, creature, humor, i, me, mutual, mutual belief, mythical, mythical creature

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

0

1 month ago

activity, bible, Bible parody, humor, joke, night, night activity, old, parody, pun, read, reading, testicle, tonight, wordplay
I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

0

2 months ago

anti-virus, computer, humor, i, joke, just, next, sneeze, technology
I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

0

5 months ago

character, comic, conflict, humor, i, last, pissed, reading, tell, writer, writing, writing conflict
Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

0

2 months ago

bad, better, consequence, enemy, fine, gamble, humor, irony, just, miss, risk, spear, strategy, throwing, weapon
They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

0

4 months ago

feeling, feeling rested, humor, invent, invention, rest, rested, should, sleep, sleeping, tired, type, wake, wake up, where
God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

0

2 months ago

animals, chicken, creation, duck, give, God, humor, kazoo, waterproof

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Discord this month:

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

77 shares on TikTok this month:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

61 shares on Threads this month:

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

84 shares on Twitch this month:

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Frodo is a beautiful name for a boy. Has a ring to it.

Making waves on Pinterest:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

Making waves on Reddit:

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.

Spotted on Instagram:

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

Breaking via Instagram:

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

Trending via WeChat:

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

Just landed via X:

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

Going viral on Pinterest:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨