Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

“I’m either extremely productive or staring at the wall like I’m in a Victorian painting.”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,228

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Breaking via TikTok:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Going viral on Messenger:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Trending via Facebook:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Just landed via YouTube:

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
You know it's true love when they're genuinely laughing at your puns instead of giving you that "oh dear" look! 😂💔

bet, dumb, even, fake, fake laugh, humor, i, joke, jokes, laugh, relationship, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

0

2 months ago

communication, end, every, good, good way, humor, insult, playful, sarcasm, wit
As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

0

2 months ago

clerk, customer, everything, humor, interaction, leave, people, retail, sales, sales clerk, shout, store, sure, touch, want
What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

0

2 months ago

craving, dinner, food, humor, i, invention, want, wish
One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

0

2 months ago

airport, being, dad, family, faster, fun, humor, important, parenting, pretty, rest, travel, walking
Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

0

2 months ago

ahead, bar, bar culture, bartender, culture, drinks, humor, put, receipt, service, wet
I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

0

5 months ago

communication, finds, hope, humor, i, message, no response, patience, response, row, sarcasm, text, texting, waiting, well

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on X this month:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

42 shares on Slack this month:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

79 shares on Slack this month:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

42 shares on Discord this month:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

Onion rings? I’m answering.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Freshly posted on Slack:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

Just landed via Facebook:

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Going viral on TikTok:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Live now on Threads:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Just landed via Facebook:

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

Shared recently on WeChat:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨