Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I’m addicted to placebos.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,598

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

Freshly posted on X:

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

Spotted on Twitch:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Trending via Facebook:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

Just landed via YouTube:

Is this simulation from Temu?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

Trending via Messenger:

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like someone has been sneaking into the "diet" section of the freezer! 🍦😆 #CaughtInTheAct

caught, cream, diet, dieting, eat, eating, food, going, humor, husband, i, ice, ice cream, last, last night, night, relationship, second, spouse, together

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

1 month ago
dog, give, humor, ID, joke, just, me, once, pet, relationship, treat, wish
I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

1 month ago
Alzheimer’s, day, early, every, humor, i, idea, joke, marriage, me, memory, relationship, saw, think, wife
I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

3 months ago
age, anywhere, humor, i, jet, jet lag, lag, lifestyle, still, tiredness, travel, where
Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

1 month ago
annoying, conversation, God, humor, interaction, me, oh, response, sarcasm, ugh, wit, yes
Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

1 month ago
alcohol, anxiety, humor, introvert, me, personality, social, social anxiety, vodka
Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

2 months ago
cause, energy, humor, irony, just, label, loss, medication, read, removal, thinking, warning, weight, weight loss, wishful, wishful thinking, wrinkle, wrinkle removal

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Live now on X:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Spotted on X:

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

Freshly posted on Slack:

Reincarnation, in this economy?

Live now on WeChat:

Maybe Rome was built in a day. I wasn’t there.

Making waves on Messenger:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

By now, we’ve all figured out that these LED bulbs don’t actually last 15 years, but we’ve collectively decided to just let it slide.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

I’ve disappointed better people.

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏