Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I only accept apologies in cash.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

21 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,290

Funny Quotes Topics

17,410

Funny Quotes Images

15,290

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,601

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

Just landed via Instagram:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Trending via Instagram:

Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

Making waves on Telegram:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

Going bananas on WeChat:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Going viral on Instagram:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

Spotted on Telegram:

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Here's my platform: Elect more puns, fewer politicians! 😂🗳️

approval, elected, election, humor, i, joke, jokes, political, political joke, politician, politics, seen

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

0

5 months ago

asked, child, honesty, humor, nobody, parenting, roommate, toddler, toddlers
Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

0

2 months ago

actually, dark, dark humor, die, humor, i, irony, own, secret, show, skeleton, sucks
If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

0

3 months ago

attitude, communication, finding, humor, i, me, offensive, quit, sarcasm
I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

0

2 months ago

consumption, couple, days, dish, food, humor, i, last, mayo, much, potato, potato salad, salad, side, side dish, summer, sweating
To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

0

2 months ago

career, cut, editing, editor, film, film editor, humor, i, pun, short, short story, story, storytelling
In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

0

2 months ago

animals, ever, going, home, humor, i, life, longing, nostalgia, pigeon, previous, previous life, think, travel

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on TikTok this month:

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

20 shares on X this month:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

No more ragebaiting around me, please. Let’s try joybaiting, perhaps even lovebaiting.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Praying to God with a Chinese accent, and he is cracking up.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

Just shared via Instagram:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Just shared via Threads:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Spotted on Twitch:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

Seen just now on Discord:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Seen just now on Twitch:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨