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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,895

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

Just shared via Reddit:

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

Making waves on Twitch:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Live now on Instagram:

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Spotted on Messenger:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Eating is my top skill on LinkedIn 😋🥐📅

appetite, breakfast, chewing, daily, daily routine, eat, eating, food, forget, forgetfulness, humor, humor quote, i, lunch, meal, meal planning, people, planning, routine, understand, while

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

1 month ago
boss, guy, humor, leadership, loose, me, personal, personal responsibility, real, responsibility, runs, self-control, self-discipline, ship, tough
Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

1 month ago
date, funny observation, humor, new, new year, note, notes, observation, old, old year, procrastination, ransom, ransom note, still, writing, year
Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

2 months ago
fast, fast food, food, guy, humor, line, McDonald’s, me, order, pretty, rest, restaurant, sure, wait
“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

4 weeks ago
cheese, craving, depressed, depression, enough, food, humor, hunger, world
The older I get, no.

4 months ago
aging, getting, getting older, humor, i, older, reluctance
The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

1 month ago
everyone, getting, humor, irony, lightning, mishap, seeing, skeleton, visibility, worst, worst part

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

Breaking via Discord:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

Shared recently on Slack:

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

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Activity Log ✨

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

The older I get, no.

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently, when you start to like him back, he is very busy and can’t talk at all. That’s how it works.

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive.

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

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I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

The older I get, no.

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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