Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Just because talking is for you doesn’t mean that starting a podcast is.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,348

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Making waves on Messenger:

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

Trending via Facebook:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Spotted on X:

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Trending via Threads:

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

Breaking via Twitch:

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

I feel like smashing my phone would be cathartic.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Go for it, but remember, your phone won't be as understanding next time! 😂📱💥

catharsis, emotional, emotional release, feel, frustration, humor, i, impulse, phone, release, relief, smashing, stress, stress relief, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, aging humor, being, body, body noise, coming, figure, health, humor, life, noise, old, old age, senior, senior life, trying, why
If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

0

2 months ago

frustration, God, going, humor, meet, oh, time, trainee, training, workplace
Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

0

2 months ago

adult, adulthood, being, deserve, hard, humor, i, self-expression, sticker, stickers, tattoo
I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

0

2 months ago

asking, curtain, down to earth, Earth, expectations, humor, i, intimacy, just, me, over, relationship, shower, shower curtain, someone, touch, want
Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

0

2 months ago

behavior, comedy, ever, folding, foot, humor, mouth, noticed, observation, open, social, social behavior, step, trash, trash can
It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

0

2 months ago

activity, burger, crazy, food, fun, fun activity, just, never, nostalgia, people, socializing, used

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Facebook this month:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

What’s a positive thought for beginners? I’ve been getting into optimism lately.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

69 shares on X this month:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

43 shares on X this month:

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

15 shares on Discord this month:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Just shared via Instagram:

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

Live now on Discord:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Seen just now on TikTok:

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

Live now on Messenger:

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Trending via Pinterest:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Just shared via Pinterest:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

Spotted on Telegram:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I feel like smashing my phone would be cathartic.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨