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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Talking to the stars because people suck.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I’ve taken a long, hard look at myself. I won’t be doing that again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,572

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Seen just now on Reddit:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Shared recently on TikTok:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

Just shared via YouTube:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

Seen just now on Reddit:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

Live now on TikTok:

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Seen just now on X:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life gives you concerts, turn heartbreak into a rock anthem! 🎸😂💔 In the end, enjoy the music! 🎶🙌

betrayal, breakup, cheating, concert, end, even, found, got, hard, humor, husband, i, irony, linkin, Linkin Park, matter, me, music, park, relationship, tried

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

0

2 months ago

being, community, country, high, high school, humor, job, mayor, politics, population, president, school, small, small town, town, where, whole, wild, wild job
I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

0

2 months ago

aging, block, door, holding, humor, i, isolation, old, people, shut, used
Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

0

5 months ago

anticipation, faster, humor, lurking, Monday, nothing, procrastination, remembering, reminder, ruin, ruins, shadow, weekend, workweek
Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

0

2 months ago

art, better, emotion, express, expression, grief, harmonica, humor, man, melancholy, music, pain, performance
Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

0

2 months ago

brain, eat, fear, humor, joke, monster, safety, survival, zombie
To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

0

2 months ago

being, boss, expectations, hate, humor, i, means, news, reality, self-employed, terrible, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on WeChat this month:

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Situation monitoring is not for the uncaffeinated.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

66 shares on Slack this month:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

87 shares on Threads this month:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Going viral on X:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m still tired from yesterday’s tired.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

Making waves on Discord:

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you hear the newest slang, and you decide that you don’t care enough to know what it means.

Trending via Facebook:

Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨