Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Nothing more humbling than being at a karaoke birthday party with a bunch of singers.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Don’t be boring. Create the gossip you would like to hear.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,653

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

Just landed via Telegram:

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

Trending via TikTok:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Seen just now on Threads:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Going viral on YouTube:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life gives you concerts, turn heartbreak into a rock anthem! 🎸😂💔 In the end, enjoy the music! 🎶🙌

betrayal, breakup, cheating, concert, end, even, found, got, hard, humor, husband, i, irony, linkin, Linkin Park, matter, me, music, park, relationship, tried

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

0

2 months ago

avoid, avoid idiot, book, books, coffee, daily, daily routine, drink, humor, idiot, idiots, lifestyle, productivity, read, read book, repeat, routine, self-care
This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

0

4 weeks ago

before, Christmas, festive, holiday, humor, nightmare, spooky, year
Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

0

2 months ago

honk, humor, playful, sleep, thang
I disagree with my politics.

0

2 months ago

disagree, humor, i, irony, opinion, politics
I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

0

2 months ago

another, craving, desire, food, fun, girl, humor, just, looking, search, snack
It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal humor, confidence, cool, fear, fish, humor, me, quirky, romance, sad, sadness, self-esteem, want, women

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Reddit this month:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

37 shares on Discord this month:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

95 shares on Discord this month:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

Ummmm, no, I don’t watch ‘Instagram Reels.’ I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

12 shares on Facebook this month:

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

One day you’re hip and cool, and then out of nowhere you say things like hip and cool.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Going bananas on Instagram:

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

Shared recently on Instagram:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke.

Breaking via WeChat:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

Breaking via Messenger:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Just landed via Slack:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

I disagree with my politics.

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨