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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,724

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

Trending via Threads:

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

Trending via Twitch:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Just landed via X:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Live now on Reddit:

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

Spotted on WeChat:

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

Going viral on Instagram:

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

Live now on WeChat:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs spider silk when you've got the power of dumb luck and questionable decisions on your side? 🕷️💥🤪 #RadiationForTheWin"

humor, i, idiot, radioactive, sarcasm, superpowers, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

0

2 months ago

anyone, before, close, competition, doors, elevator, else, hobby, humor, interaction, social, social interaction, trying, waiting
Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

0

2 months ago

dental, dental visit, dentist, everyone, hate, humor, irony, try, visit, weigh
My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

0

2 months ago

deprivation, doing, hobby, hours, humor, insomnia, laziness, nothing, procrastination, saying, sleep, sleep deprivation, staying, staying up, three, tired
If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

0

2 months ago

aliens, believe, commercials, dialogue, humor, observation, pharmaceutical, satire, walk, writing
I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

0

3 months ago

aging, blanket, comfort, cool, couch, evening, humor, i, just, pajamas, relaxation, used, wait
Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

0

5 months ago

cheaper, coping, coping mechanism, culture, health, humor, internet, internet culture, mechanism, media, mental, mental health, posting, shit, shitposting, social, social media, therapy

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Reddit this month:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

33 shares on X this month:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

77 shares on Threads this month:

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

85 shares on Discord this month:

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

22 shares on Threads this month:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m rich and happily in love?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

You’re really hot. Wanna share microplastics?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

Live now on Slack:

The money I made gradually, you need urgently?

Trending via Pinterest:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Spotted on Instagram:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Shared recently on Facebook:

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Just shared via Messenger:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨