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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so society can recalibrate.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,507

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

Trending via Instagram:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

Spotted on Twitch:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Just landed via Threads:

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

Spotted on Reddit:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Freshly posted on Threads:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

Live now on Instagram:

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

Making waves on YouTube:

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Can’t decide if I relate to this or if I'm just undecided 😂🤔

actually, confusion, decision, hate, humor, i, indecisive, know, right, self-deprecation, word

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

0

2 months ago

activity, autograph, best, bible, every, fun, fun activity, hotel, humor, i, JC, prank, religion, wishes
People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

0

2 months ago

always, conversation, debate, hear, humor, just, people, perspective, Satan, saying, today
Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

0

2 months ago

addiction, choices, having, health, hierarchy, humor, irony, just, life, life choices, Maslow, new, nicotine, psychology, reason
One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

0

2 months ago

bra, embarrassment, got, high, humor, humor story, i, intoxication, misunderstanding, shot, situation, social, social situation, story, thought, time
Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

0

5 months ago

attitude, humor, listen, second, slang, swag, turn
Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

0

2 months ago

20, around, ask, demand, fun, having, humor, independence, money, parenting, right, teens, turn

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

These aliens are taking forever.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Normalize saying, “Just as the oracle foretold,” when things go your way.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Running from your problems is cardio.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

Shared recently on Discord:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

Just shared via Slack:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Seen just now on WeChat:

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Just landed via X:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Making waves on Threads:

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨