Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Farewell, brave warrior. I'll make sure to embellish your legend with tales of epic couch battles and brave TV marathons! 🛋️📺😂 #ManColdHero"

cold, comedy, dramatics, exaggeration, goodbye, humor, i, illness, man, man cold, sarcasm, story, tell, world

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

0

2 months ago

cosmic, every, humor, i, me, okay, patience, sign, signs, think, time, universe, wait, waiting
Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

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2 months ago

family, humor, identity, job, joke, parent, parents, personality, self-acceptance, shame
Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

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2 months ago

flirtation, food, humor, i, invitation, joke, midnight, midnight snack, night, over, snack
Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

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2 months ago

caffeine, chair, coffee, drinking, frowned, frowned upon, frustration, humor, people, relief, stress, stress relief, throwing, throwing chair, upon
Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

0

2 months ago

assembly, even, frustration, furniture, humor, kid, kids, learn, parenting, piece, putting, swear, swear word, today, together, word, words
All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

0

2 months ago

certainty, doubt, humor, i, irony, know, knowledge, self-awareness, sure, wrong

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

70 shares on X this month:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

94 shares on Threads this month:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

84 shares on Slack this month:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

“Do you like using Twitter?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Starting to think business is standing on me.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

Making waves on YouTube:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Just landed via Instagram:

Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?

Seen just now on TikTok:

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

Trending via YouTube:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

Trending via TikTok:

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Spotted on Instagram:

Life is short, flirt with me!

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨