I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend Iโ€™m destroying evidence.

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend Iโ€™m destroying evidence.

Commentary:
โ€œWho knew scrubbing toilets could be so suspenseful? ๐Ÿšฝ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™€๏ธ Just be sure to dispose of that DNA evidence properly! ๐Ÿ”๐Ÿ’ผ #cleaningcrimesceneโ€

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Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

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    Commentary:
    โ€œStanding up for myself is hard when Iโ€™ve got low iron โ€“ Iโ€™m more like a wilted flower than a powerful force ๐Ÿ’โ€โ™€๏ธ๐ŸŒผ #IronDeficiencyStrugglesโ€

  • At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

    Commentary:
    โ€œBuying Tesla now is like showing up to a party wearing a fanny pack โ€“ bold move, but risky in the coolness department. ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿš— #RiskVsRewardโ€

  • Itโ€™s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentineโ€™s Day. I didnโ€™t have a groundhog on Groundhogโ€™s Day.

    Commentary:
    โ€œWho needs a Valentine when you make Groundhogโ€™s Day look like a breeze! ๐Ÿ˜„ Stay single, stay fabulous! ๐Ÿ’โ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿฆ”โ€

  • Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

    Commentary:
    โ€œAh, the joys of teamwork! Who knew that setting your life on fire could be a joint effort? ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ‘ซ Just like Bonnie and Clyde, but with more emotional baggageโ€ฆ and less bank heists. ๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ˜…โ€

  • HR is giving me a hard time because Iโ€™ve been starting all my work emails with โ€œDearly Belovedโ€.

    Commentary:
    Oh, the drama of mixing business formalities with a touch of royal charm! ๐Ÿ‘‘ Perhaps HR just needs a little dose of regal flair in their inbox to spice up their day! ๐Ÿ’ผโœ‰๏ธ๐Ÿคฃ #OfficeRoyalty

  • Life is short, unless youโ€™re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

    Commentary:
    โ€œLife is shorter than a kidโ€™s attention spanโ€ฆ unless youโ€™re listening to them break down the complexities of PAW Patrol ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ˜‚ #ParentingRealitiesโ€