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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has viewed:

The most important thing I learned in life, and I canโ€™t stress enough, it doesnโ€™t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that youโ€™re really hot.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡จ has bookmarked:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

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Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

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There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

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The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

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You know youโ€™re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

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50 shades of single.

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Iโ€™m the ick in fantastic.

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Iโ€™m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, Iโ€™d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

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And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

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I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend Iโ€™m destroying evidence.

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend Iโ€™m destroying evidence.

Commentary:
"Who knew scrubbing toilets could be so suspenseful? ๐Ÿšฝ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™€๏ธ Just be sure to dispose of that DNA evidence properly! ๐Ÿ”๐Ÿ’ผ #cleaningcrimescene"



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