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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Do people who spend a fortune on outdoor heating know they can just go inside?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,934

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Breaking via Telegram:

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

Going bananas on Discord:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

Trending via Twitch:

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Shared recently on Discord:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Just landed via Telegram:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
😂 "If laughter is the best medicine, I'm basically your pharmacist! 🤪💊 #WrinkleMaster"

affection, cheeky, definitely, eyes, forehead, humor, humorist, i, playful, put, romantic, sarcasm, teasing, witty, wrinkles, WTF

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

1 month ago
cool, crazy, humor, media, never, online, personality, social, social media, thing, Twitter, uniqueness
“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

1 month ago
car, chores, clean, cleaning, everyday, everyday life, give, humor, life, ride, sarcastic, shower, town, transportation
Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

1 month ago
cat, cats, follow, humor, i, Litterboxd, oh, pets, should
Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

1 month ago
coping, coping mechanism, emotional, emotional response, health, humor, lashing, lashing out, loved, loved ones, making, mechanism, mental, mental health, new, ones, relief, resentment, response, stress, stress relief
Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

1 month ago
courtroom, fleetwood, Fleetwood Mac, go own way, honor, humor, i, independence, joke, mac, music, own, said
Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

1 month ago
both, commentary, comparison, criticism, grave, group, humor, mass, mass grave, offensive, people, social, social commentary, stereotype, stereotypes, together

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

Making waves on TikTok:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Spotted on YouTube:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

Going viral on Telegram:

The void screams into me.

Trending via TikTok:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

I talk to myself in the same condescending tone, so you’re not special.

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

A selfie only a mother could like.

Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

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I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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