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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,512

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Spotted on Discord:

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

Just shared via Facebook:

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

Spotted on Threads:

And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

Just shared via YouTube:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

Trending via Messenger:

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

Trending via Twitch:

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

Going viral on Facebook:

No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
😂 "If laughter is the best medicine, I'm basically your pharmacist! 🤪💊 #WrinkleMaster"

affection, cheeky, definitely, eyes, forehead, humor, humorist, i, playful, put, romantic, sarcasm, teasing, witty, wrinkles, WTF

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

0

3 weeks ago

adult, awkwardness, crush, dating, feels, having, humiliation, love, ritual, someone
Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

0

2 months ago

cheating, favorite, feeling, girlfriend, heartache, humor, love, loyal, loyalty, relationship, trust, world, worst
Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, chest, girl, girls, humor, i, laid, last, laugh, laughing, me, moment, relationship, time
I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

0

2 months ago

capture, effort, family, feel, hours, humor, i, parenting, photographer, photography, smile, spend, teenager, trying, wildlife
The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

0

2 months ago

control, figure, help, i, irony, kid, me, need, parental, parental control, parenting, problem, set, setup, technology
The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

0

2 months ago

artificial, artificial intelligence, century, humanity, humor, intelligence, irony, kill, natural, natural stupidity, question, stupidity

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Messenger this month:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

98 shares on Telegram this month:

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

11 shares on YouTube this month:

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

Just landed via Telegram:

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

Just landed via X:

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

Trending via Snapchat:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

Just landed via TikTok:

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

Just landed via Instagram:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

Spotted on Facebook:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨