I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

“Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.