Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,610

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Going bananas on Telegram:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

Trending via Twitch:

If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

Just landed via Facebook:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Just shared via Facebook:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

Making waves on TikTok:

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

Trending via Reddit:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like my wallet is on a permanent diet! 🤑💸 #YOLOgonewrong"

account, advice, bank, financial, financial humor, humor, i, joke, life, life advice, life motto, living, money, motto, need, short, spending, stop, words

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

0

2 months ago

education, genius, growth, humor, irony, learn, making, mistake
They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

0

2 months ago

activity, creativity, fun, hobby, invention, leisure, patience, people, should, skills
There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

0

2 months ago

celery, celery stalk, cold, cold soup, comfort, comfort food, drink, even, food, humor, ice, little, nothing, over, quirky, quirky drink, soothe, soul, soup, stalk, tomato, tomato soup, vodka
There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

0

2 months ago

Dracula, humor, i, just, skepticism, something, trust, vampire
January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

0

2 months ago

episode, humor, January, mood, schizophrenic, winter
Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

0

2 months ago

40s, advice, aging, apple, apples, doctors, health, humor, matter, need, welcome

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Telegram this month:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

14 shares on Threads this month:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

78 shares on Slack this month:

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

91 shares on Threads this month:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

46 shares on X this month:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

21 shares on X this month:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

70 shares on Reddit this month:

D was probably like “lmao ok” when they named the alphabet the ABCs

47 shares on Facebook this month:

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

80 shares on Threads this month:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Trending via Reddit:

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

Trending via Discord:

Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.

Breaking via TikTok:

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Spotted on Instagram:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨