Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Thank God for headphones and day dreaming.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,724

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

Broadcasted on Threads:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Freshly posted on Slack:

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

Making waves on X:

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

Just landed via Instagram:

Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

Just shared via Reddit:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Shared recently on Reddit:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

4 weeks ago

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Commentary:
I always knew American drama weighed a ton, but who knew it was only 90 kg! 🎭🤯😂

90, American, Americans, conversion, day, dramatic, dramatics, found, humor, i, just, kilogram, measurement, pound, weight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

2 months ago

bad, bad decision, decision, decisions, humor, mistakes, recap, reflection, Spotify, Spotify Wrapped, wrapped, year
Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

2 months ago

accessory, attitude, communication, fashion, front, got, humor, important, listen, say, shirt, something, style, sunglasses, wardrobe
I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

2 months ago

comfort, fat, flat, fluff, fluffy, humor, hurt, hurts, i, neck, new, old, pain, pillow, upgrade
Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

2 months ago

activity, day, fun, fun activity, funny suggestion, humor, love, phone, relationship, relationship humor, suggestion, switch, switch phone, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day
I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

2 months ago

amount, cooking, ever, food, humor, i, kitchen, mistakes, pasta, right, think
You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

2 months ago

anecdote, city, funny observation, great, humor, life, live, nature, observation, pigeon, seagull, urban, urban life, wildlife

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Reddit this month:

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

62 shares on Threads this month:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

33 shares on Slack this month:

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

15 shares on YouTube this month:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

67 shares on Slack this month:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

Anyone who says there are no stupid questions is welcome to drop by my office. My colleagues will prove you wrong.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

People never run off to join the circus anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

The art of staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Just landed via Facebook:

If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

Just shared via Twitch:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Shared recently on YouTube:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Spotted on X:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Just shared via Telegram:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨