Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

No, babe, your 10-minute incremental alarms starting a full hour before you actually get up only make me love you more.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

292 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,561

Funny Quotes Topics

17,615

Funny Quotes Images

15,561

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Just shared via Slack:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Just shared via Twitch:

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

Just landed via YouTube:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

Making waves on Discord:

Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Spotted on TikTok:

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a 'Beware of Dog' sign when you can have a 'Beware of Empty Wallet' sign instead? 💸🚫😂 #MoneyMatters"

away, door, front, humor, i, joke, keep, money, paycheck, picture, prank, solicitors

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

2 months ago

ago, apartment, days, disappearance, done, door, event, gone, humor, ignored, ignoring, mystery, small, small door, three, unexpected, unexpected event
The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

2 months ago

awareness, driving, everyone, humor, important, important thing, remember, reminder, road, safety, smart, thing
Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

2 months ago

advice, drugs, humor, illegal, illegal substance, personal, personal property, property, substance, take, warning
No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

6 months ago

affection, flaw, friend, friendship, humor, i, keep, love, making, me, mistake, old, old friend, personal, personal flaw, repetition, special, special mistake, understand
I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

2 months ago

comedy, humor, i, irony, life, never, problem, self-deprecation, worse
Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

2 months ago

deserve, expectations, humor, i, mean, morning, proverb, sarcasm, sleep, time, waking, waking up, woke, worm

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on WeChat this month:

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

79 shares on X this month:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

43 shares on Slack this month:

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

14 shares on Threads this month:

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I don’t think I’m allowed to be in public for over an hour.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Breaking via Threads:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Going viral on X:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

Spotted on Pinterest:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨