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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,610

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Going viral on Telegram:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Broadcasted on X:

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Trending via Reddit:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Making waves on Telegram:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Nose detective mode activated! 🔍👃😂

app, fragrance, humor, i, music, music app, perfume, scent, Shazam, technology, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

2 months ago

Amazon, away, being, childhood, days, delivery, different, doors, driver, game, humor, knocking, names, play, running, used
It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

1 week ago

day, fitness, gym, humor, joke, leg, leg day, misunderstanding, self-care, shaving
My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.

3 weeks ago

bit, conversation, every, family, family gathering, gathering, going, holiday, humor, incorrectly, joke, mispronunciation, name, politician, politicians, politics, Thanksgiving
If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

2 months ago

check, cry, goal, humor, just, life, life goal, reality, reality check, retirement, sad, sad truth, show, someone, truth, year
Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

1 month ago

call, confession, deserve, drama, dramatic, emotion, humor, i, love, me, rain, relationship, romantic, think
There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

1 month ago

achievement, galaxy, humor, i, just, miss, Miss Universe, space, stars, universe, wonder

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Making waves on Telegram:

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

Making waves on Telegram:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Sorry for being weird. It’s just that everything I talk about reminds me of every other thing I wanna talk about, so I try to talk about everything at the same time and explode.

Just shared via Telegram:

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

A friend of mine decided to cut all the toxic people out of his life, or so I was informed.

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

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I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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