Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,610

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Trending via Telegram:

Grok, put light in her eyes.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

Making waves on X:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

Going viral on Messenger:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Going bananas on Instagram:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Trending via YouTube:

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

2 days ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about wishing to instantly identify a perfume with humor and playfulness.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Nose detective mode activated! 🔍👃😂

app, fragrance, humor, i, music, music app, perfume, scent, Shazam, technology, wish

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Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

80 shares on Slack this month:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

76 shares on Discord this month:

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

Spotted on Instagram:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

Trending via Threads:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

Making waves on Threads:

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

Just landed via Messenger:

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

Going bananas on YouTube:

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

Just shared via Discord:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Spotted on YouTube:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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