Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Sure, I'd totally watch football with you… for the snacks 🍟 and the occasional 'touchdown' dance 💃🏈 Who am I kidding, let's just order pizza and call it a day! 🍕😄"

care, football, humor, ID, love, pretend, relationship, sacrifice

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

0

4 months ago

am, crazy, humor, i, LA, life, lifestyle, living, madness, phrase, Spanish, Spanish phrase, vida, wordplay
Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

0

2 months ago

again, broken, funny observation, humor, i, nature, observation, rain, sky, thing, thought, weather, weird, well, yellow, yellow thing
Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

0

2 months ago

doo, every, just, landlord, people, property, scare, scooby, Scooby Doo, sell, show, trying, villain, woke
Googling symptoms until you cry.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, cry, diagnosis, Googling, health, humor, internet, search, symptoms
I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

0

2 months ago

apology, arrogance, confidence, exaggeration, humor, impossible, live, rest, sarcasm, self-deprecating, setting, sorry, standards, try
I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

0

2 months ago

dating, dog, ever, ghosted, humor, just, loyalty, me, pets, relationship, saying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Facebook this month:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

37 shares on X this month:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Leaving out milk and cookies for Santa is literally making an offering to a deity.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

Trending via Pinterest:

Time needs a speed limit.

Shared recently on Discord:

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

Just shared via TikTok:

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Breaking via YouTube:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

Googling symptoms until you cry.

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨