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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I love when I can smell my perfume on myself, like damn girl, you smell delicious.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,345

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

Just shared via Threads:

Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Just shared via Messenger:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

Trending via Instagram:

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

Freshly posted on Threads:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That sounds like a gruelling test of endurance—don't forget to carbo-load with some donuts 🍩🏃‍♂️😴!

0.002K, anyone, awareness, exercise, fundraiser, humor, joke, laziness, me, motivation, raise, running, sponsor, wants, weekend

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

0

2 months ago

cut, expectation, fruit, humor, moment, seed, surprise, watermelon
The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

0

2 months ago

asleep, bed, earlier, humor, laziness, morning, morning routine, motivation, procrastination, routine, sleep, still, think, thoughts, time, wake, waking, waking up, why, wish
I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

0

2 months ago

big, Big Mac, days, fast, fast food, food, humor, i, joke, lettuce, mac, McDonald’s, think, unhealthy
It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

0

2 months ago

consequence, fashion, fit, fun, game, humor, jean, jeans, reality, weight
I hate math, but I love counting money.

0

2 months ago

counting, hate, humor, irony, love, math, money
Getting ghosted by someone who bothered you in the first place is crazy.

0

5 months ago

annoyance, communication, crazy, getting, ghosted, ghosting, interaction, irony, place, relationship, social, social interaction, someone

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

I hear the responses my young siblings give my mom, and I’m speechless; they don’t know the commando she was in her prime.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

67 shares on Messenger this month:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

38 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

93 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

63 shares on TikTok this month:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Just shared via YouTube:

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Spotted on Threads:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Spotted on Messenger:

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Being a little freak is my love language.

Just shared via Telegram:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Making waves on Instagram:

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Shared recently on Discord:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Getting ghosted by someone who bothered you in the first place is crazy.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨