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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Don’t be boring. Create the gossip you would like to hear.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

They should invent someone who holds me.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,611

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

Going viral on Discord:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

Just shared via TikTok:

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Seen just now on Discord:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Making waves on YouTube:

Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

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If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.
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Commentary:
Sounds like a relationship built on trust… and creative problem-solving! 🏋️‍♀️🚀🗝️

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on X this month:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

47 shares on Instagram this month:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

94 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

59 shares on Discord this month:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

86 shares on Slack this month:

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I had a friend like me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,224

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

Asking people their favorite color and then calling them liars.

Broadcasted on Threads:

New term for people with jobs: emploids.

Spotted on Slack:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

Breaking via Slack:

Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

Seen just now on X:

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

Going viral on X:

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Trending via Reddit:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Going viral on Discord:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

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