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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Somehow I picked the worst possible decade to try to have a career.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

Trending via TikTok:

There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.

Seen just now on X:

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

Just shared via TikTok:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

2 months ago

0

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤣 "If you ever go for a walk with me, be prepared for some unintentional bumping! I like to add a little zigzag to keep things interesting. Who needs a straight line anyway? Let's keep it lively and bumpy together! 🚶‍♂️🤷‍♀️"

activity, bump, clumsiness, definitely, friendship, humor, i, just, know, line, straight, straight line, together, walk, walking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

0

2 months ago

chore, clothes, dryer, ever, feel, folding, household, household chore, just, laundry, procrastination, restart
Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

0

2 months ago

cheating, check, dreams, humor, intuition, phone, relationship, still, trust, women
Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

0

2 months ago

appearance, fitness, going, good, gym, health, humor, i, just, motivation, naked, wellbeing
Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

0

2 months ago

app, apps, awkward, awkward moment, confused, confusion, date, dating, dating app, deleted, going, grocery, grocery store, humor, interaction, just, life, moment, shopping, single, single life, social, social interaction, store, walk
Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

0

2 months ago

breakup, broke, congratulations, emotional, emotional support, enough, humor, know, me, needs, people, relationship, support, therapy
The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

0

3 months ago

body, day, early, humor, kid, kids, letting, morning, parent, same, sleep, sleep in, stop, wake, wake up, waking, weekend

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

35 shares on WeChat this month:

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is my favorite story about how everyone treats you like shit until they need something from you.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,352

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I’m sorry I used air quotes when I said we were friends.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Anything can be a dating app if you aren’t a coward.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Seen just now on Reddit:

“It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

Just shared via Telegram:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Seen just now on TikTok:

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

Making waves on X:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Seen just now on Twitch:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Going viral on YouTube:

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

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