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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

You think you’re your own worst critic? Just wait till you have kids.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,471

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

Shared recently on TikTok:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Just shared via X:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

Going bananas on YouTube:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Just landed via Discord:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

Shared recently on Reddit:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

Going bananas on TikTok:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Going viral on Facebook:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Trending via WeChat:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🧐🐱‍👤 Looks like the secret ninja skill of commenting without commenting has finally been revealed! 😂📢

comment, communication, fact, humor, irony, paradox, say

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

0

2 months ago

book, books, coffee, dragon, drink, fantasy, girl, humor, i, just, laugh, machine, pet, read, simple, simple girl, sunset, thinking, time, time machine, want, watch, wishful, wishful thinking
My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

0

2 months ago

AI, beautiful, beauty, being, competition, computer, contest, crafting, creativity, cry, dream, emotion, humor, i, story, writing, writing contest
I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

0

2 months ago

ground, humor, i, just, marry, mom, parent, relationship
Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

0

2 months ago

alone, exhausting, exhaustion, fake, fake laugh, humor, interaction, just, laugh, laughing, leave, life, me, mental, mental exhaustion, mentally, office, office life, please, social, social interaction, work
Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

0

2 months ago

back, broken, broken girl, fix, girl, guy, heartbreak, humor, irony, love, relationship, same, same guy, take
Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

0

2 months ago

best, communication, conversation, humor, interaction, introvert, me, sarcasm, social, social interaction, start, tip

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on YouTube this month:

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

43 shares on Slack this month:

Adulting’s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

75 shares on Twitch this month:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

86 shares on Discord this month:

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

32 shares on X this month:

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Going viral on WeChat:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Just shared via TikTok:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

Breaking via Discord:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Spotted on Reddit:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Shared recently on Discord:

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

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Activity Log ✨

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨