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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1749 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,911

Funny Quotes Topics

14,729

Funny Quotes Images

11,911

1 minute ago

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

Going viral on Telegram:

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

Trending via Twitch:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Trending via LinkedIn:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

Making waves on X:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

Spotted on Facebook:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Just shared via Reddit:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

Making waves on YouTube:

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

6 months ago

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the classic case of "If you can't find a Matt, you're the Matt" situation! 🤔 It's like the universe's way of saying, "Hey, buddy, where's your Matt at?" 😅 Just remember, if you find yourself surrounded by non-Matts, well, you might just have to embrace your inner Mattness! 🧑🏻‍💼 #MattMystery

circle, friend, humor, identity, joke, Matt, social, social circle, white, white friend

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1749 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,911

Funny Quotes Topics

14,729

Funny Quotes Images

11,911

1 minute ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

Trending via TikTok:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Reported on X:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Trending via LinkedIn:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Just shared via Discord:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Reported on Slack:

I don’t hate anyone in particular, I just hate everyone in general.

Freshly posted on X:

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

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