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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,405

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

Why does Bruce Wayne, the billionaire, not simply rig Gotham City’s elections in favor of tough-on-crime candidates?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Trending via Slack:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Shared recently on X:

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

Trending via YouTube:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

Just shared via Threads:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Going bananas on Telegram:

This entire year I was method acting. None of it was real. I was working on a bit.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the classic case of "If you can't find a Matt, you're the Matt" situation! 🤔 It's like the universe's way of saying, "Hey, buddy, where's your Matt at?" 😅 Just remember, if you find yourself surrounded by non-Matts, well, you might just have to embrace your inner Mattness! 🧑🏻‍💼 #MattMystery

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

91 shares on Discord this month:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Scared to go on dates, cause what if I find the one and never be able to be single again.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

85 shares on Slack this month:

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

46 shares on X this month:

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

A Monday every week is excessive.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,279

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Live now on Pinterest:

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

Trending via Twitch:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

Just landed via Twitch:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Breaking via Twitch:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Nobody talks about the privilege of having a friend who shows interest in your hyperfixations.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Going viral on Reddit:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

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